I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this chance to see shining types of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in an extended while, I do not feel alone.
Element of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I will be doing this for the wrong reason; as an easy way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to share wasn’t yet clear in those days; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have enable you to see inside acim teacher. Don’t want it troubling the mind, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I really could not think of something that I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I had in arriving at the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere with its residents’reassurance, by simply my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for several years, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief will be (has been?) released.
You will find other issues that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.